We all have fears. Some of us have more fears. Some of us have deeper fears. It is natural and totally normal to have them. The important thing is not to live in them.
When fear becomes a primary emotion that drives you, it becomes impossible to be happy and fulfilled. Whatever you do, you keep asking yourself questions about this fear, whether you realize it or not. Some of these fears we are conscious of, and some of them we are not.
One of the major breakthroughs that I have had within the past year was that I used to live in a state of fear at all times. And I didn’t even know it.
My whole life was driven by a fear of not being safe. And I totally understand why I have lived in this fear. But all of those scary events that I have experienced were in the past, not in my present. And I needed to realize and acknowledge this fact. As Tony Robbins says: “Your past does not equal your future.” And as soon as you acknowledge the fact that it is your past, you are on the way to changing your life for good.
I understand that there were certain opportunities I have avoided, and some situations I would have handled differently if I were not living in a state of constant fear. But to be fair, I have to thank my very own fear for impacting my life positively as well. As I have drawn a connection in my mind in the past, without even acknowledging this, that achieving results and succeeding will bring me to a safe state.
On one hand, I have struggled with “Not enough” complex, as I call it, constantly wanting more. But on the other hand, it drove me to achieve more. I am not complaining or regretting anything from my past, (maybe with the exception of smoking 🙂 ). I am just very grateful that I was able to open up to myself and change my state of mind.
There was a time in my life, relatively recently, when I could hardly sleep. And when I did fall asleep, I would wake up in the middle of the night horrified, and even crying while I was asleep. And all of those dreams were about not being able to keep my kids safe. Sometimes I would see in a dream that my kids were kidnapped. Sometimes, even worse than that…
No wonder I didn’t even want to go to sleep, and I couldn’t fall asleep, even though I was exhausted. On a subconscious level, I was scared to see one of those dreams again.
And then I realized that I was bringing my fears of not being safe onto my kids. Good thing it was only happening while I was asleep. But I know that it wouldn’t be long before I would start spreading my fear to my kids and impacting them while I was awake.
Once I have realized that my past is my past, my whole life has changed. And I am not trying to say that once you discover a certain truth in yourself that everything will change for you in an instant. There might be some practicing that you will have to do. If you were living your life in a certain state, you have trained yourself to react to everything in your life accordingly. So, you will need to retrain yourself.
But the good news is that it’s definitely doable, and it’s not that complicated. There are specific rules on how to change your state of mind, and you are able to do this yourself. All that is needed is some practice. I have written about this subject before, on how to change your state of mind with specific directives, and you can view this here.
I wrote this before, but I would like to repeat this again:
Imagine that your life is a movie and you are the director of this movie. Create the life you want, the life you will enjoy. Being happy is the only real purpose in life.